The Problem I: Failing to make the small wins a big deal

For the past eight years, I experienced a mix of incredible success and crushing failure. I achieved amazing results in fitness and dating, but I failed miserably in business—for almost eight years straight. As I reflected on these successes and failures, I noticed a big difference in how I approached these areas of my life.

When I started working on my fitness and dating life, I was still a student. There was no pressure or timeline to succeed. I took my time, enjoyed the process, and celebrated small wins along the way. But when I started my first business—an Amazon FBA business—after graduating, everything changed. Suddenly, there was immense pressure from my parents and society to succeed and make money quickly.

This pressure led me to take shortcuts, skip steps, and lose patience. I discounted the value of small achievements, like building a website, publishing a product listing, or making a single sale. I’d tell myself, “What’s the point of one sale when there are people out there making millions?” I was constantly comparing myself to others, which made my small wins feel insignificant.

This mindset—failing to make the small wins a big deal—was a recipe for failure. Maybe you’ve experienced something similar:

• You see someone with millions of followers on social media and feel like your 100 followers are worthless.
• You see someone jacked at the gym and think your small progress is insignificant.
• You see an expert pianist who can play songs after hearing them once, and you feel like your beginner skills are pathetic.

Let me tell you straight up: this mindset will destroy your ability to achieve success. If you don’t appreciate the small wins, you’ll never build the momentum needed for long-term success. Let’s dive deeper into why this happens and how to fix it.

Why failing to make the small wins a big deal will result in failure:

There are two main reasons why discounting small wins leads to failure:

1. The Winner Effect and Importance of Positive Emotions

Success in life requires something called the winner effect. This is a biological response where your body releases dopamine and positive emotions whenever you “win” at something. These positive emotions give you more confidence when tackling the next thing, resulting in a higher probability of actually achieving it, which leads to more confidence, more success and so fourth.

The problem arises when you anchor the winner effect to outcomes instead of actions. Outcomes are unpredictable—one day you succeed, the next day you don’t. So if you anchor your emotions to outcomes, your emotions will be inconsistent from day to day. One day you’ll feel good, the next day you won’t. This is a huge issue because success requires the winner effect which is a streak of positive emotions, day in, day out. This is how momentum and real progress happens.

In order to ensure a long-term streak of positive emotions, we must anchor our winner effect and emotions to taking action, not the outcomes we get! If you took action—whether it’s posting a YouTube video, making a sales call, or hitting the gym—celebrate it. Tell yourself, “That was a 10/10 effort!” even if the result wasn’t what you wanted. By doing this, you proactively trigger the winner effect and build momentum.

When I started my first business, I failed to do this. I discounted small wins like getting 20 sales in the first two weeks because it wasn’t millions of dollars. This led to anxiety, stress, and eventually quitting. Don’t make the same mistake. Celebrate every small win, no matter how insignificant it seems.

2. We Attract What We Are, Not What We Want

There’s a saying in the law of attraction: “We don’t attract what we want; we attract what we are.” While this might sound woo-woo, there’s definitely truth to it. Your inner state—how you feel internally—affects your outer results.

For example:

• If you’re a desperate car salesman, customers will sense your neediness and avoid buying from you
• If you’re a needy guy in dating, women will feel repelled by your energy

This happens because of mirror neurons—a phenomenon where others mirror your emotional state. If you’re happy and confident, people will feel drawn to you. If you’re desperate and negative, they’ll feel repelled.

The same applies to success. If you’re ungrateful for small wins, you’ll have a negative inner state. This negativity will repel opportunities, customers, and success. On the other hand, if you’re consistently positive and grateful, you’ll attract more customers and sales.

Your inner state also affects how you see the world. This is due to confirmation bias, driven by your brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS). Your RAS causes your brain to focus on information that confirms your beliefs. If you believe you’re failing, you’ll only see failure—even when you’re succeeding.

For example:

• If you get 10 views on a YouTube video, you might think, “This is nothing compared to millions of views.”
• If you make one sale, you might think, “This is pathetic compared to people making millions.”

But the objective truth is: 10 views are better than zero views. One sale is better than no sales. However if your beliefs are negative, it’s like seeing the world through the lens of failure where even objective success is “failure”. However, if your beliefs are positive, your RAS will see the “success” in that result.

The Problem II: Failing to make big goals small

Making the big goals small means two things:

1. Understanding that every large achievement started small.
2. Breaking down big goals into small, manageable steps.

1. Every Big Achievement Started Small

Most people forget that every successful person started as a beginner. Apple, now the world’s most valuable company, began as two guys tinkering with computers in a garage. The tallest skyscrapers started with a single brick.

When you see someone successful, remember: they were once where you are now. Their success is the result of many small wins accumulated over time. By understanding this, you can reframe your mindset from “I can’t achieve what they have” to “I CAN achieve what they have, because it’s just the result of small steps they took over time.”

2. Break Down Big Goals into Tiny Steps

Most people set massive goals like “Make a million dollars” or “Build a website” without breaking them down. This is a mistake. Big goals are intimidating and overwhelming. To succeed, you need to break them into tiny, bite-sized tasks.

For example:

• If your goal is to build a website, start with:
  1. Research how to build a website.
  2. Download WordPress.
  3. Draft initial sketches for the website design.
• Then break these steps into even smaller tasks:
  • For step 3, create a moodboard in Notion.
  • Make a list of websites you like for inspiration.
  • Open five browser tabs with those websites.

By breaking down big goals, you:

1. Create a sense of satisfaction: Every time you complete a micro-task, you trigger dopamine and the winner effect, keeping you motivated.
2. Actually achieve your goals: Planning makes execution easier. As Brian Tracy said, “Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution.”

When I started my first business, I didn’t break down my goals. As a result, I wasted time and gave up. Don’t make the same mistake. Plan meticulously, and you’ll achieve your goals faster.

Practical Steps

Here’s how to make the small wins big and the big goals small:

1. Make the small wins big

• Celebrate small wins: Even if it’s just 10 views on a YouTube video or one sale, treat it like a major victory. Remember, 10 views is still between to 0 views. One sale is better than no sales.
• Focus on the process, not the result: Anchor your winner effect and emotional state to whether you took action, not outcomes.
• Self-generate positive emotions: Don’t let external results dictate how you feel. Create your own happiness and gratitude. Your outcomes don’t dictate your emotions. You proactively choose whatever emotions you want to feel.

2. Make the big goals small

• Remember that big achievements start small: Reframe your mindset to see success as the result of accumulated small steps over time
• Break down big goals: Turn intimidating goals into tiny, manageable tasks. Plan meticulously to save time and reduce stress. Remember, 1 minute of planning saves 10 minutes in execution.

Final Thoughts

Success isn’t about overnight wins or massive leaps. It’s about appreciating the small wins and breaking down big goals into manageable steps. By doing this, you’ll build positive, stay motivated, and actually achieve what you want long-term.

As Baylan Skoll from Ahsoka said, “Impatience for victory guarantees defeat.” Take your time, celebrate the small wins, and break down your big goals. That’s how you’ll succeed.

If you found this helpful, make sure to check out my other articles. And remember: the small wins matter. Celebrate them, and they’ll eventually lead you to big things you desire.